These letters document my journey of monetizing creativity. Take what inspires you and leave what doesn't resonate. xx

Merch

I'm not a fan of merchandise, but I understand that it's a necessity to bring in some cash for artists. I mean, this newsletter is about monetizing "creativity" after all.

But what bugs me the most about artist merchandise is the lack of "creativity" surrounding it.

Ordering 200 custom logo t-shirts from China is now a normal process. Or worse yet, licensing your brand name to companies so they can mass produce "crap".

I won't bore you with statistics... BUT fashion is ranked as the 6th biggest pollutant by the industry.

I'm not against capitalism, I'm against laziness. I'm actually a huge fan of Miss Trixie Mattel because of her capitalistic spirit and work ethic. Music, makeup, and a damn motel. That's major for a drag queen.

But is there a more conscious approach to all this?

I'm currently playing around with my own idea to merchandising. I'm sourcing salvaged, unique goods that are then designed by local artists to become a one of a kind pieces.

Because of the scarce nature of those pieces, I can set a premium price.

High-end designers have been doing this for a while. Why are Birkin bags so expensive?

No part of Hermès’ production line is completed by machines – all Birkins are made by hand by master artisans. It may take the craftsperson several days to complete just one Birkin bag. After the bag has been constructed, it undergoes a vigorous testing process to ensure its durability.

But they're also super hard to get your hands on, which just makes them even more expensive.

Just to put it into perspective, I found this Birkin on eBay for a mere $285,000.

So, this takes us to my “merch” line, baby!

Here's the first piece. This is a vintage, genuine black leather biker vest.

The back is hand-painted by none other than SF-based designer, "Blake Cedric." He has spent the last decade in SF producing some of the wackiest teen dream neon fantasy art you've ever laid your eyes on.

A few years back, I was immediately drawn to Blake's style of work when I purchased one of his pieces at a local shop. Blake's aesthetic is a unique blend of high-end tackiness, a style that only a few can truly appreciate. It's very much like my own work style.

By upcycling merchandise, we can help reduce waste while putting income back into the arts community. It's a win-win.

The vest will be priced at just $500.00. After purchasing the vest and having Blake customize it, I won't be making a huge profit, but any profit is a step in the right direction.

Do You Remember Who You Are?

And if you can, are you courageous enough show it?

This question is so powerful because it forces you to go back in time to when things were confusing and out of your control.

As a child, you are so fat and fragile (at least in my case), and your parents have the enormous responsibility of shaping who you are. However, if they themselves are children and emotionally clueless, it makes things even more difficult.

I was a very outgoing kid. I was always singing, dancing, and entertaining the family. As I got older, my extroverted personality became quieter year after year, to the point where I eventually lost my sense of self by my high school. years.

At one point, my mother was hiding pieces of my clothing because I assumed she thought they were too feminine.

Like, how can you function comfortably in the "real" world when your family disapproves of little things like personal style?

It wasn't until I left home and moved to California that I began to regain control of my identity.

It still took me years, but I started to peel away the layers imposed by family, religion, and society.

It was only when I began creating films, particularly through drag, that I felt most alive and excited.

HERE’S MY BACKSTORY 4.0

This is a continuation of my backstory that I have woven into prior letters. Reader discretion is advised.

Casting

Just to refresh your memory, I attended a film festival called HUMP that inspired me to create my first short film with pornographic content titled "Pimples n'Nipples".

With the main cast finalized, the next step was to sort out the details of the sex tape. I needed to find someone to fuck me in character while on camera. That person would be completely anonymous because of it’s POV style taping.

I know that finding someone sounds so easy, especially with sex work being so mainstream, but honey, I was struggling.

As a demisexual, I wanted to make things as easy as possible for myself, so I contacted a few friends with whom I had previously been intimate with. No luck. They had corporate jobs that would not be happy if word got out.

So, I began reaching out to couples I knew. I figured one could hold the camera while the other one plowed me. Here's one of those DMs.

I made these inquiries as light-hearted as possible, using plenty of emojis, but still had no luck. It was already July and I only had until September to shoot and edit the film in time for submission.

Scruff

Scruff is a dating/hookup app designed for gay men. I had an account, but I primarily used it out of curiosity to see what was happening in my gayborhood [insert eyes emoji]. I never actually engaged in hookups... until the film forced me to.

This is why I appreciate deadlines. They keep me accountable and force me to get the job done by all means necessary. There was no way I was going to miss the submission deadline!

Out of desperation, I updated my bio on the app to something similar to the pitch I was sending to friends: "Need a sex tape scene for short film.”

After a few noisy weirdos, I got a serious inquiry from an older guy named David.

Hook, line, and stinker!

We set up a date that week. He preferred the daytime, which freaked me out, but whatever. I immediately ran to Pleasure Chest on Santa Monica and purchased the least expensive douche they had. I had been gay long enough to know that your ass needed to be pristine.

Alright, on July 5, 2019, it was finally go time, the day of the sextape shoot. My good friend, Christina, came over and did my makeup. I shaved my chest and added a temporary tattoo next to my landing strip.

Christina left and wished me luck. My stomach was in knots, mostly because I was douching all morning, but also because casual sex is not something I am comfortable with. I had a few shots of Jameson whiskey to help calm my nerves.

David buzzes the intercom. I go downstairs to get him. He's very sweet, but I didn't feel any chemistry right off the bat. It's too bad for me because the show must go on.

I tell him how nervous I am and that hookups aren't my thing, blah blah. We get into my apartment, and I decide to get the blowjob scene out of the way. I hand him my phone and put on a wig.

Scene one, take one! Action! He records me on my knees, giving him head for about a minute and a half. I remember losing character and enjoying the moment.

Cut! We got the first shot. Great. Let's move on.

Next, we move into the bedroom for anal sex. I didn't want to risk losing the money-maker shot, so I set up two cameras for this scene: one on a tripod, and David would hold the other in POV style.

So far, so good, right?

Scene two, take one! Action! The B camera is rolling as we figure out the best angle to keep David discreet. Once that's assessed, David goes to the bathroom for a condom. I reach for my drawer and grab lube and a vibrating butt plug to start preparing myself.

At this point, it's all business. I'm very focused on getting this done quickly and efficiently… while loosening my butthole. My poor brain kept fighting me, jumping from logical to emotional, but I had to hold it together for the sake of the project.

He gets back, and I ask him about a shot that I want. "Can you come on my temporary tramp stamp?" He says he doesn't think he can come at this stage. Dammit, I'm losing him!

I'm on the bed with a vibrating butt plug inserted and the B Camera still recording, I ask him to remove the plug when he's ready.

That's when everything goes to shit... literally.

I was kind enough to upload the extremely uncomfortable 4-minute video for all of you to relive this moment with me. It includes a timestamp below so you know what you're getting yourself into.

0:00 : David, off-camera, tells me his preferred position while wishing to stay anonymous

1:20 : I walk over to my dresser for lube and a butt plug

2:28 : On my bed, I insert the plug, testing out different vibrating levels, while David waits off-camera

3:24 : The plug is inside me. I tell David to "pull it out whenever" and presumably start the scene

3:30 : David gently pulls out my butt plug

3:32 : The butt plug is accompanied by a nugget of feces

3:33 : David says, “Oops, you’re a little messy,” while holding my shitty butt plug

3:40 : Awkward pause as I reassure him I douched

3:50 : David takes my soiled butt plug to the restroom and rinses it off. I’m still on the bed waiting for the shot

4:10 : I’m still waiting

4:20 : David comes in from the restroom asking, “Should we reschedule?”

4:22 : I ask, defeated, “You want to reschedule?”

I was really bummed after that. I knew there would be no rescheduling, especially after that messy situation.

After going through the footage, I was really happy with the first scene. Very method. At least we got that. For the remaining shots, I got creative and filmed some implied scenes with Christina as the cameraman.

The Moral Of The Story

The moral of this story is that we all have this superpower. Once you tap into the formula, you become unstoppable.

I'm reading "The Art Of Impossible" by Steven Kotler. He explains the formula for achieving the impossible and breaks it down. (Sidenote: it's a free audiobook if you have Spotify Premium). In the book, Kotler refers to that formula as "flow". I compare it to “blacking out”. Nothing else matters except the thing you're chasing.

I have unknowingly used “flow” on a smaller scale with films and crowdfunding, but I am really excited to apply what I now know to larger endeavours.

I'm signing off for now. Currently, I'm in London for DragCon. This trip was very spontaneous after years of talking about visiting. It's a fun way to start off the new year.

Thanks for reading xx

Derek Viveiros

P.S. If you have any questions or suggestions for the newsletter, please feel free to contact me directly at [email protected]. This is an open creative space!