Hello everybody!

This newsletter will be a bit different. It will include a backstory and context of my LA glow up.

A "glow-up" is a slang term used to describe a significant transformation, typically in physical appearance, that is perceived as an improvement. It's the process of turning yourself into a better version of yourself and becoming more confident, attractive, and successful.

SHOWS WORTH NOTING

I've been hitting the town, attending as many live shows as possible always on the hunt for inspiration. From these shows, I steal like an artist by taking what like and leaving behind what I don’t like.

• The Willows

The Willows transports guests into the captivating world of the Willows family, offering an unparalleled immersive experience that blurs the lines between theatre and reality.

This show nearly broke my bank with a ticket fee of $225.00, but due to their yearly limited run and the secrecy surrounding the show, I felt compelled to check it out.

They only allow 18 guests at a time, and the show/experience lasts for 2 hours. I highly recommend it.

What I really love about the show, besides the ability of making me scream, is its potential to franchise itself. This show could easily transition into a horror film bringing in a larger audience.

• Scissorhands: A Musical Tribute

The pop music parody of Tim Burton’s film Edward Scissorhands.

I don’t know a lot about the original film so I went into this blind. I really enjoyed it though. It has loads of great music weaved into the story and an amazing cast.

UPDATES ON MCD

I need to give people more of an incentive to leave their home.

I've reached out to a few promoters regarding Möther’s Creme Diaries LIVE. I'm seeking a partner to collaborate with in making the show an interactive ‘DANCE NIGHT'.

Every hour, someone from the crowd has the opportunity to dedicate a real love song that will be played.

We will be playing music from the '80s, '90s, and 2000s from 9 PM to 2 AM. The live show portion of the night will occur from 10:30 to 11:30 PM. Ideally, I’m looking for a venue similar to Virgil or El Cid, featuring a large stage.

I'm good at putting on a show, but have no idea in throwing a party. This brings me to my next book.

NEW BOOK

Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork

Book by Dan Sullivan

I signed up for Audible and started listening to this book. Essentially, it teaches you to ask, "Who can help me?" rather than, "How can I do this?”

It sounds simple, but for someone like me who tries to do everything to save a penny, it’s helping change my way of thinking, hence looking for a promoter/DJ to help me throw a show.

HERE’S MY BACKSTORY (bless my heart)

At the age of 23, I moved to Los Angeles as a naive "straight" boy. Like many others, I relocated to kick-start my emerging acting career.

I had a girlfriend whom also relocated with me. She complained that I never wanted to fuck her. Maybe because I was nose deep into straight double penetration porn. Two cocks and a clitorus was just gay enough to keep me straight.

The girlfriend eventually left me for a man who would fuck her on the regular.

Living single in a big city gave me lots of time to explore the LA scene.

CLUBS, BITCHES AND VIAGRA

All my friends were hooking up with chicks, I felt pressure to do the same. But time after time I stood there limp and mortified as the girls sucked on my uncut noodle, unable to resuscitate it.

After multiple embarrassing female hookups, I thought I could have erectile dysfunction.

I purchased some black market male enhancement pills on craigslist and starting banging chicks again.

At 25, I dated a girl who resembled a tattooed drag queen. I was very much in love and because we had an emotional connection I had no trouble getting it up.

She was very progressive and I remember having one fight about her dildo use. She essentially wanted me to get her off with it, but I immediately felt she was testing my masculinity. My immaturity level was through the roof.

That relationship lasted a year.

In my defense, I’m a sensitive person who needs an emotional connection before being intimate. It took years to realize there’s nothing wrong with me, I was just wired differently. That wiring plays a major role in my creative endeavors today.

THE WAKEUP CALL

At the age of 27, while still pursuing my acting career, I booked a role in a short film titled "Disclosure." The film was about a gay man in a long-term relationship, who was concealing his HIV status.

I remember being so excited to book this role and test out my acting chops. I loved dramatic roles.

The director had me and the other actor, an openly gay kept twink, spend some time together before shooting to build chemistry.

I didn’t like my co-star very much. He did a lot of name dropping and so on.

The first shoot day was fine. Everyone was still getting to know each other and I started warming up to the other actor, Brian. We shot over a long weekend in Orange County, so they put us up in a hotel.

After having a nightcap at the hotel bar, Brian and I went to our room. It was a large suite with a pullout bed. I offered to take the couch.

We continued to drink whiskey and watch the sci-fi film, Splice. I remember making myself comfortable and getting down to a t-shirt and briefs.

As we watched the film are knees slowly touched and I was getting an erection. I was experiencing a feeling that I wasn't use too.

We continued watching the film with all that sexual tension in the air. Once it ended, I reminded Brian I would take the couch. He told me not to be silly and to share the king size bed in the other room.

I played coy but quickly took him up on his offer. We brushed our teeth and made way for bed. I don’t remember the pillow talk, but i’m sure it was about the second day of shooting.

The room is completely silent and dark. My erection still in tact.

The bed was big enough to prevent physical contact… or so I thought.

After a few quiet minutes, Brian nudged his leg against mine and, as if it was a knee-jerk reaction, we both began making out.

This was not like making out with chicks. There was this fire inside that needed to get out.

My next knee-jerk reaction was putting his dick in my mouth. I didn’t know how to suck a dick, and my excitement had me using too much teeth. I also remember my nerves giving me the worst case of dry mouth.

Needless to say, I don’t think we came.

I woke up the next day so charged up. The feeling can only be described as similar to Diane Lane's character in Unfaithful after her affair.

I felt so guilty but so alive!

My brief gay affair even had a soundtrack: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye. This song played incessantly on the radio while we finished the short film.

After putting a penis in my mouth I knew there was no going back to being hetero but I was stuck in limbo.

It took a few more years for me to start comfortably dating men but those relationships suffered because of my deep insecurity of being gay.

I’M DONE ACTING

I experienced some acting success in my early thirties. I booked roles on 'Fuller House', 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine', and 'Seal Team' but I was falling out of love with conventional acting.

I was going in for the same boring auditions.

One day, I got an audition for an ABC show. I can't remember the name, but it was with the casting directors who booked me for Fuller House.

It was on the disney lot, which raises the stakes but I also didn’t prepare as well as i should have.

I get in the room and there’s three woman on the other side. They let me do my version of the character. Then one of the casting directors gives me direction and that’s when I completely shut down. I didn’t want to be there. I just wanted to get it over with but because they liked me from another job they kept having me do it over and over.

Finally, one of the woman asks me if I wanted to step outside and go over the sides. I go back to the waiting area and contemplate just leaving. I really didn’t want to go back in but I didn’t want to be a coward.

Because of that day, I quit conventional acting. Not because I wasn’t good enough but because I grew out of it. It wasn’t fun anymore and if I’m doing something that's not fun I better be getting paid for my time.

But you know what was fun? Wigs!

This is getting kind of long, so I’ll continue my origin story in the next newsletter.

I hope to have some more information on Möther’s Creme Diaries Live for you soon. Just a heads up, as someone who's got a sixth sense, I'm feeling some cool stuff coming our way!

I'll leave you with a question: "What risk will I take today?”

Thanks for reading xx

Derek Viveiros

P.S. If you have any questions or suggestions for the newsletter, please feel free to contact me directly at [email protected]. I want this to be a creative community.