These letters document my journey of monetizing creativity. Take what inspires you and leave what doesn't resonate. xx

Vision Board

Okay, I've never really participated in the whole vision board thing until recently. I love the idea of pinning up images from magazines or the internet that represent the life you want to achieve. It's fun and raises your dopamine levels. I love me some dopamine.

But do these boards actually work? Take a look for yourself.

I don’t remember what inspired me to create a vision board, but I did make a shitty uncommitted one that I placed in my bedroom 6-9 months ago. It was hung above my desk, which I don’t use. I didn't look at it daily, so, I ended up moving it to the kitchen area. I knew in order for the thing to manifest, you had to look at it regularly.

On the board was the following:

• An image of the Mother's Cream Diaries logo that I photoshopped into a drag world tour

• Wells Fargo checking account with a random balance number in the high 70s

• Plane ticket to London

• A concept for a new drag reality show

• A photoshopped photo of me in the film "Wolf of Wall Street," signifying authority and power as a creative

• A photo of an office space with my production company “Duffer Sisters”

To my surprise, a few images had kind of manifested! It even sounds silly saying this aloud.

Now, a trip to London seems easily attainable, but in my defense, I had been putting it off for so long that I needed that visual reminder on the board hounding me.

So, I bit the bullet in November and purchased a ticket for January. Cute.

Here’s where things get interesting. Right before I left for my trip, I got a call from an acquaintance about a job opportunity to manage a rooftop bar. Managing a bar? As if!

For those of you who know me, you know I'm not a fan of the whole corporate lifestyle and love having my freedom and creative autonomy, but… something told me to take this meeting.

Well, that something sounded more like, "Derek, you're an idiot if you don't at least go in for an interview."

The first interview was the day of my trip. I met with the Director of nightlife at the venue before it opened for the day. As he started discussing the job details, I began to feel a little numb, as if letting go of my old self and succumbing to the circumstances I was in.

The left side of my brain was taking everything in calmly, but the right side was telling me to get the fuck out of there!

But I didn't get the fuck out. I expressed my interest for a second interview with the higher-ups of the company.

Why? Because of intuition.

The last few months have been very confusing for me. My dog, who had been with me for 16 years, was put down. My best friend and production partner, with whom I collaborated on everything, moved to NYC to start a family. I felt as though everything around me was changing, but I was standing absolutely still.

I thought about possibly moving to another big city. But where? And why? I had just successfully put on two shows for MCD and made a bunch of new connections in nightlife.

Why do I feel so confused and unfulfilled?

I began asking the universe for signs of my next move. Yes, I talk to the universe, usually through meditation. I also vented to friends, hoping they had an answer, but they had nothing.

So, when the opportunity to manage a honky-tonk bar in the heart of Hollywood arose unexpectedly, I had no choice. Was this the sign I was looking for?

When I received the call for my second interview, I knew the end was near. The jig was up. I was about to become a responsible individual with a "JOB", job.

Circling back to the film "Unfaithful", I again had this feeling of excitement and terror, reminiscent of the first time I put a penis in my mouth.

Everything I believed in was getting yanked right out from under me... But you know what? I was kind of relieved. I was due for a good shakeup in life.

I had the second interview in the bag. My confidence level when I wear a suit is usually through the roof.

I hate wearing suits, but my good friend RuPaul once said,

The higher-ups accepted my initial salary proposal, which made me think, "Should I have asked for more?" Regardless, that's what a 6-month salary review is for.

And just like that,I got the position. I work under the Director of Nightlife for the Ten Five Hospitality Group.

To conclude this vision board story in a nice bow, the salary I asked for is eerily close to the Wells Fargo account balance I put on the board. I didn't consider any of that when negotiating my pay. All I did was Google managerial salaries in Los Angeles.

The photoshopped image of me in the movie "Wolf of Wall Street", symbolizing authority and power, is turning into reality. I am now managing a team of 18 staff members along with several security guards. This is a complete turnaround from the starving artist mentality I had just a few weeks ago.

What I once avoided, responsibility, I'm now embracing. It's forcing me to grow and become a better person in business and that's what I want. MONEY!

Managing a rooftop country bar isn't the most ideal situation, but I'm not focused on that. I'm focused on the bigger picture. There's a reason I got this opportunity. I don't know what it is yet, but it will come to light sooner or later, and I'll write about it, LOL.

HERE’S MY BACKSTORY 6.0

This is a continuation of my backstory that I have woven into prior letters. Reader discretion is advised.

By now, it's late 2019. I'm an actor who gave up the "traditional acting" route to focus on what I'm curious about: explicit images in comedy. I wrote, directed, and edited my first short film, "Pimples n' Nipples," specifically to submit to HUMP!, an amateur porn-ish film festival.

I've finished editing the film and I'm amazed by what was accomplished with a mediocre script and basic editing skills. It was one of those moments in time where preparation met opportunity. I had put in so much work, creating countless sketches and characters on FB and IG, that I was ready for this and it clearly shows.

Now, the film is not perfect, but given the limitations and my lack of cinematography knowledge, this short is gold.

One of the reasons for its success was that the film was made for me not my audience. It was an itch that “I” needed to scratch.

Rick Rubin articulates it nicely in the clip below.

"It turns out, when you make something truly for yourself, you're doing the best thing you possibly can for the audience.”

Unfortunately, HUMP Film Fest was not my target audience. I didn't make it into the film festival, which was quite disappointing.

I was very proud of the film and continued to submit it to LGBTQI and alternative festivals. Ultimately, the film was selected for festivals in Toronto and Portland.

Of course, I spent money to fly there. What a waste. I remember the audiences not identifying with the film. There was complete silence in the theater, LOL. Most of the people in the audience were other filmmakers waiting to see their film on the big screen.

After wasting my money on bragging rights at useless festivals, I started looking locally for ways to show my film.

Coincidentally, one of my favorite local bars, Akbar, hosts an annual film festival called NSFW (not suitable for the workplace). “An evening of curated LGBTQ+ sex-positive short films.

On December 16th, 2019, the house was packed with a full audience. My nerves were high because this was the biggest turnout I'd had thus far, and the audience was mostly my peers. From what I remember, my film was programmed in the middle of the show.

As the opening credits of "Pimples n’Nipples" began, time seemed to freeze. This was the moment of truth. Was the short as good as I believed it to be? Then, I heard a few giggles. People were starting to realize they were in for a fun ride.

I was drinking that night, so I don't recall the play-by-play. However, I do remember the crowd roaring throughout the film. This was clearly my target audience. Middle age gays.

Leaving the festival, I felt a wave of validation, realizing that there are audiences who resonate with my work.

For those of you who haven't seen the film, do yourself a favor and check it out in the embedded poster below.

I immediately started working on my next project, Möther’s Creme Diaries… however, this project was not as successful. I got too ahead of myself.

The project was a more subdued version of what I'm used to. Instead of hardcore images, it had a softcore vibe, reminiscent of my teenage years watching late-night television. I strategically planned this to make the selling process easier.

This was a television series concept. The story centered around a young girl who discovers her mother's absurd diaries. As the girl reads the entries, we are transported into a different parts of the mom’s world.

Each episode would represent a different diary entry. I would reprise my role as Cristal Connors, the self-medicated mother and also play the young girl, Charlotte. I was clearly delusional to think I could pull this off.

I finally fleshed out a terrible 20-page script that had far too many references from the film "Showgirls.”

I wanted this to be a legitimate production, so I needed cash. I decided to launch a crowdfunding campaign through Seed&Spark. I arbitrarily picked the number $14,000 from my ass.

Deep down, I knew I would get that money. When I set my mind on something, I always make it happen! Especially when its specific.

Before the launch, I reached out to an acquaintance who had run a successful campaign. He stated that he worked with a crowdfunding manager who set everything up. In return she gets about 15% of the gross goal. That sounded reasonable, but some of the tasks she asked him to do seemed a bit cringy, like impromptu Facebook live chats and so on.

Anyway, I began reverse-engineering the techniques the manager was using and found some very useful tactics on how to persuade people to donate. You can reach out to me directly for that information.

It was a close call, but I managed to raise just under $14,000 in 30 days.

That ends this entry. Just under 2000 words is my sweet spot.

I'm incredibly excited for the next few months. I'm settling into my new job nicely and am ready to bring Möther's Crème Diaries LIVE back. It will definitely be playing in mid-June at the Hollywood Fringe Fest, but I anticipate one more show prior to Fringe.

Thank you all for reading xx

Derek Viveiros

P.S. If you have any questions or suggestions for the newsletter, please feel free to contact me directly at [email protected]. This is an open creative space!